Did I Quit or Did I Wise Up?

In some of my previous blog post, I’ve touted what I thought I knew middle class people should do with their money. I was living my life from the perspective that I was middle class with more knowledge and experience in financial literacy than most others. I felt that set me in a good position to speak to certain subject matters from different perspective then people in those circumstances have been told. Little did I know that when new information is introduced people, perception, and plans do change. That’s what happened to me.

On September 10th 2019, I stepped away or let go of my occupation at Centerpoint Energy as a Sr. Programmer Analyst. Though when I spoke with another in regards to what I planned to do, the word he used for it was quitting. Perhaps he misspoke and I won’t quibble over words, but I disagree that the word quit can even be used for the action I took to walk away and how, if seen from a much larger context.

Changing Plans

Let me describe that day for me which was supposed to come in March 2020 but came early. I had already discussed with my manager my plans to exit after a project I was on concluded after she had come to me to join CNP innovation incubator team which was a 2 year commitment. I did not lead her astray knowing full well, I had no plans to be there. As I said earlier new information can change people, perception, and plans. This new information was coming from an inside source instead of an external one. It made me see myself in a different light than I once had.

Vacation Reflection

So after a 5 day vacation in Cancun, where I was taking nice long walks on the beach in a sort of solitude which did not exclude the seagulls, water crashing in on the sand which immersed my feet, and the arising sun, I contemplated where I was in my life, how I got there, and where I was going to go from here. I was deciding right then and there that there was no real need for me to wait until 2020. That show can go on without me. I did not tell my wife right at the moment because we were having too good a time and I didn’t want to ruin that by making her worry about our life.

Changing Perception

The morning of the 10th, I had gone to physical therapy to rehab a hip injury I had. Afterwards, I went home showered and then dressed in attire most developers don’t when they show up to work. I had on a Nautica blazer, long sleeved dressed shirt, and socks; some Joseph Abboud chino pants, a tan Italian leather belt, and some tan Cole Haan casual shoes. I’ve attached that photo to the right. A quite stylish but casual look and feel that I really like.

That morning I also took a lot more time making sure I did everything I wanted to do prior to going in. I did not say to myself I do not have time to step into Starbucks to get my customized grande mocha with 1 pump chocolate mocha sauce, coconut milk, no whip, ristretto, blonde espresso extra hot. I did that and then drove to work with such leisure. When I arrived, I saw my team in a meeting with Splunk reps demoing a product for our team. I stepped in and sat towards the back of the room. I was listening, but at that point I was like none of this matters to me I was so checked out and back on that beach in Cancun. I said to myself, it ends today. Since I typically went to the gym at noon and it was approaching that time before the meeting had concluded, I got up, casually walked out, got my gym bag, and went downstairs to have one last workout. It was instructor led cardio step/weight training class. Afterwards, I showered and put my cloths back on, went upstairs, packed my things, emailed my manager and told her I was done because she was on vacation and left my badge on my desk. I left the building, got in my car, and went home. I did not actually go straight home, but to Men’s Warehouse and then to get my haircut.

Changing People

I talked to my manager later that day and we talked and it’s nothing personal. There was nothing she could do or say because my mind was made up at that point by me. I had finally grown up after 11 years on the job, no goodbyes, party, or none of that needed. So quit, no! I made it known beforehand I was leaving; though, it did wind up being sooner than I expected. I had out grown that place and many other places and relationships in my life because my perception of myself changed so radically due to this new information that other people’s perception that I left, quit, retired really doesn’t matter to me as much as living my life with the proper perspective.

Their is no next job for me though some people have this attitude you’re supposed to do this, that, and the other in order that you can get your next job. It’s from that perception that they think and do stuff and they cannot deviate from that even as facts change. It’s the having, holding, and getting something in return from a job that validates their life. I don’t need or require that myself anymore because I see and understand what a job is. Also, I don’t see myself through someone else’s measure. If I had, I might have valued the job more than my own life and I would have potentially been found dead from suicide or mentally broken down. And why? All because I had let other peoples standards become my own!?

No sir! I did not quit. In fact, I’ve just started and I found I have a voice and it’s my own.

In Closing

Their is something much bigger than having a job and it requires a whole lot more work and understanding of oneself. That is, having a life! On that matter, I did not quit, but on quitting a job, I wised up that I’m free to walk away at any time I’m ready to take responsibility for my own life. That’s not called quitting, that is called being alive!